A Mother’s Regrets

A Mother’s Regrets

To my newborn son,

The world to which you have been born is anything but certain and for that I am sorry.

I am sorry that it took me more than a week to process your birth after being discharged from the hospital only 24 hours upon your arrival.

I am sorry that your daddy could not hold you for the first two weeks of your life, he desperately wanted to.
I am sorry that your first Christmas was all but canceled and that you have still not met most of your extended family. 
I am sorry you will never feel the warmth of your great grandma, trust me, she was more than great and she loved you. 
I am sorry that I don’t know if the decisions we made for you but couldn't for your sister are the right ones or who I should worry about more.
But most of all, I am sorry for my self-consuming fear. For spending more time thinking about how to keep you safe in the present than I do dreaming about your tomorrow. 
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